Depression

I did not know that I was depressive and that depression was a disease. Watching Larry King Live on CNN one day awoke me to this terrible realization. One of the symptoms of Depression is lethargy and being sleepy. I have always been on the blue side of the spectrum emotion-wise and this I thought was due to my 'artistic' nature. Sapoton was how they put it in Visayan. I preferred to characterize myself as melancholic and it seemed to suit my taste in music and the colors that I liked and wore. The songs that I liked tended towards the minor key, painful partings or unrequited love.

I would have a hard time getting up in the morning as though I was afraid of what the day would bring. If nothing catastrophic happened during the day I would congratulate myself at night before turning in of haviing had a 'good' day; a boring, uneventful day it might be but one without something tragic happening like losing money or getting into trouble. Looking back at my life I realize that I was indeed depressive and somehow afraid of what life could bring; and I determined to do something about it. I needed to find a way to get myself sorted out.

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My life is a dream

Each day in my life nowadays is much like the day before it, such that one might be tempted to say that I am vegetating or sleeping my life away. I am more or less stuck where I am or as they say, "confined to barracks" a derogatory term I'm sure but which nevertheles describes accurately my current situation. As they say, if life gives you lemons then make lemonade and that is precisely what I am doing.

I am unable to travel, or vacation in sandy beaches, or to reach out to old friends or party and make new ones. These pleasures and opportunities are more or less restricted to me but the life I am living a life not ordinary. I am the king of all that I survey. I might be limited in what I can possess but I am in control of a wonderful resource: my imagination. There is no limit to what I can picture in my mind, the flowers I can gaze at and smell. My life is a dream and no kings are allowed to intrude into my realm. I sit alone, hour after hour, tending to my thoughts and giving free rein to my dreams as they gallop and prance their way largely unhampered in Cyber Space.

Body and soul

Man is often referred to as having a body and a soul. Body is quite easy to point out but soul is an abstract concept. Talking about the body is easy and many interesting points and ideas can be raised about it. Countless books have been written about the body and how to take care of it, to enhance portions of it, to make it stronger and more pleasant to look at, as well as the many places that adornments that can be placed on it. The soul on the other hand is difficult to pin down without going into a discussion with a decidedly religious slant. With the body one can easily prove or disprove a contention by experimentation and by looking for authoritative opinions by various experts. What of the mind? Where does it reside? Is mind part of the body or is it an expression of the soul? Is it correct to dichotomize man the way many thinkers do?

I have heard of certain parts of the body being identified to be the "seat of the soul". Is it reasonable to assume that the soul is housed in a specific portion of the body? The brain might be a good place to assume as the seat of the soul and I am certain that there can be found reasons for declaring it to be so.The heart could be a good canditate and I have read somewhere that the tailbone might be the seat of the soul. Who knows? Does the soul reside in the body? Or is the body a mere vehicle for the soul in which case the discussion of where the soul can be found within the body becomes unnecessary or even impractical? How important is the body to the soul? Many esoteric literatures speak of the body as being the material housing for the soul which makes it pretty important. Without the body the soul cannot find expression in objective reality.Is this statement correct? If it is then we can conclude that the body not just a housing but even all-important to the soul which validates or accepts the basic premises of physical health and proper nutrition and exercise to preserve, nurture and appreciate it.

The American Dream...is it universal?

Is the American Dream the ideal dream? Does everyone want money and more money, cars, a house in the suburbs, a great job, good health and health insurance. I dream of having lots of friends, having a nice European car, songs in my heart, maybe work at home and never have to go to an office in a tall building, write emails everyday to loved ones who could not be with me, maybe learn another language, have a huge life insurance.

Work is important to a man and being doing a good job often means doing a job that you want to do. That one can make money while doing something that one likes to do is probably the best dream anyone can have. Working at home or having a home-based business is desirable and these days more and more people are finding out that money can be made online. Never mind that there are very blatant scams that scream in your face. If one is diligent enough one can find a niche for oneself in the world wide web. Is that a pipe dream?

The dream of Brahma

Ancient Indian texts talk of Brahma sleeping and as He sleeps, He dreams. His dream is the Dream of Creation and the Universe. That which we know and call Reality is really nothing more than the internal musings of the Divine Creator. He dreams and we come to being. Things may appear solid to us but to the atoms that compose them it is a different matter altogether. Electrons dance around protons and the two never meet. It is as if there is infinite space between them. So tiny are they that a whole lof of them are packed into a small space and still they cannot see each other at all. A neutrino is so tiny that it goes through anything. It cannot be stopped except by another Neutrino moving in the opposite direction. Therefore, as far as a neutrino is concerned there is nothing else in the universe because it cannot touch anything. It goes through planets and asteroids like it's a superhighway with nothing in it. Is reality really real or is it just a dream?

Waves and particles are really not two different things or are they? A particle can exhibit wavelike behaviour and vice versa for a wave. So, are they one and the same thing but capable of changing into the other when the fancy hits them? Is a rock really solid? Does a neutrino realize it is solid? They say "if God intended man to fly then He would have given him wings". Yet, nowadays man flies faster than a bird can. What may be a dream in the past can be reality in the future. Is life Real or is it a Dream? What then is the nature of Reality and Dreams? Are the ancient Indian Thinkers and Philosophers right in calling the Expressed Universe nothing more than the Dream of Brahma?

I like to dream

Is it a curse or something good to be dreaming always? I like to dream and not necessarily when I am asleep but even when I am awake. I like to wander off and try out different things in my mind. In my younger years dreaming (the regular stuff when sleeping) was a scary affair because I often had frightful dreams like being chased by witches of the Filipino variety who are more like banshees and demonic beings with bat-wings and they are more scary than the witches of Occidental origin with their pointy hats and broomsticks. My witches could fly through the air with their batlike wings and chase me. Very often I would also try to fly and you know how it is when you are dreaming and being chased, you do lose your mobility and would tend to get glued to the air which you are trying so hard to navigate.
I do have some nice dreams too sometimes, but I cannot remember them at all. What sticks to my mind are the nightmares. I managed to get rid of these nightmares when I was initiated into Yoga and learned to meditate with a Mantra. So, there I was dreaming again but armed now with my Mantra. True to form, my tormentor made her appearance and began to terrorize me. I turned the tables on her and started chasing her as I shouted my Mantra at her which, was greatly disconcerting to the poor thing. I laughed out loud and challenged her to come back and do her worst.. I clearly remembered the entire episode when I woke up the following day. The following night I waited for her to appear but my waiting was in vain. She never showed and she has never appeared in my dreams since.