Depression

I did not know that I was depressive and that depression was a disease. Watching Larry King Live on CNN one day awoke me to this terrible realization. One of the symptoms of Depression is lethargy and being sleepy. I have always been on the blue side of the spectrum emotion-wise and this I thought was due to my 'artistic' nature. Sapoton was how they put it in Visayan. I preferred to characterize myself as melancholic and it seemed to suit my taste in music and the colors that I liked and wore. The songs that I liked tended towards the minor key, painful partings or unrequited love.

I would have a hard time getting up in the morning as though I was afraid of what the day would bring. If nothing catastrophic happened during the day I would congratulate myself at night before turning in of haviing had a 'good' day; a boring, uneventful day it might be but one without something tragic happening like losing money or getting into trouble. Looking back at my life I realize that I was indeed depressive and somehow afraid of what life could bring; and I determined to do something about it. I needed to find a way to get myself sorted out.

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